The Lizzie McGuire Movie

[rating=1]Starring: Hilary Duff, Adam Lamberg, Jake Thomas, Yani Gellman
Director(s): Audrey Wells
Writer(s): Susan Estelle Jansen and Ed Dector

Hilary Duff takes her television series character to the big screen in 'The Lizzie McGuire Movie'
Hilary Duff takes her television series character to the big screen in ‘The Lizzie McGuire Movie’

The Lizzie McGuire Movie is not safe for adult consumption. It is a terrible version of a Mary-Kateand Ashley Olsen straight-to-video film, which means that essentially it is very bad. If it seems like I’m being unkind, let me say, that I have sat through many a Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen film and found them more enjoyable.

Parents leave the tweens at the theater entrance. This is a film to avoid at all costs. Taken from the highly popular Lizzie McGuire show on the Disney Channel, the movie is an ego driven finale that brings the show to a close. Only tweens that adore the spunky, slightly screechy Hilary Duff will adore this film. Duff does not have the acting or comedic skill of competitors, Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bines. A witty cartoon version of Lizzie consistently upstages her throughout the film.

Read moreThe Lizzie McGuire Movie

Forget Jack Black, the kids are the real stars of ‘School of Rock’

Jack Black teaches music in 'School of Rock'
Jack Black teaches music in ‘School of Rock’

[rating=2]Starring: Jack Black, Sarah Silverman, Mike White, Joan Cusack, Miranda Cosgrove
Director(s): Richard Linklater
Writer(s): Mike White

I have had the displeasure of watching Jack Black through Orange County and Shallow Hal. So when I heard that School of Rock was winning rave reviews from critics, I struggled with indecisiveness. Should I pay $10 a ticket for a film, that despite starring Jack Black, other critics had found riveting? I couldn’t take the risk. Instead, I waited for it to be available on a considerably cheaper format, the DVD rental. I should have waited longer.

Read moreForget Jack Black, the kids are the real stars of ‘School of Rock’

‘Bend It like Beckham’ is about a young girl pursuing her dreams against all odds

Parminder K. Nagra and Kiera Knightly carry the trophy in 'Bend It like Beckham'
Parminder K. Nagra and Kiera Knightly carry the trophy in ‘Bend It like Beckham’

[rating=4]Starring: Parminder K. Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Juliet Stevenson
Director(s): Gurinder Chadha
Writer(s): Screenplay by Gurinder Chadha, Paul Mayeda Berges, Guljit Bindra

I have heard Bend It Like Beckham likened to My Big Fat Greek Wedding with soccer, but it’s much more than that. Unlike most sports films, this story isn’t really about a team or a sport. Bend It Like Beckham is about a young girl pursuing her dreams against all odds.

Read more‘Bend It like Beckham’ is about a young girl pursuing her dreams against all odds

‘Vampire Effect’ is ‘Buffy, the Vampire Slayer’-light, but not quite as good

Ekin Cheng and Charlene Choi in 'The Vampire Effect'
Ekin Cheng and Charlene Choi in ‘The Vampire Effect’

[rating=2]Starring: Ekin Cheng, Charlene Choi, Gillian Chung, Jackie Chan
Director(s): Dante Lam
Writer(s): Jack Ng

Now, you must understand, I am the kind of person who preorders Buffy, the Vampire Slayer Season 6 on DVD two months in advance. Having said this, it is by no means a stretch of the imagination to find that I am reviewing a film where Jackie Chan kicks vampire ass! Now you may not have heard of this film, for neither had I until I viewed the trailers on my Godzilla against Mechagodzilla DVD.

Read more‘Vampire Effect’ is ‘Buffy, the Vampire Slayer’-light, but not quite as good

‘Daddy Day Care’ ushers in family-friendly era for Eddie Murphy

Jeff Garlin and Eddie Murphy in 'Daddy Day Care'
Jeff Garlin and Eddie Murphy in ‘Daddy Day Care’

[rating=3]Starring: Eddie Murphy, Jeff Garlin, Anjelica Huston, Steve Zahn, Regina
Director(s): Steve Carr
Writer(s): Screenplay by Geoff Rodkey

I grew up in the ’80s watching movies like Beverly Hills CopThe Golden Child and Coming to America. Back then, it seemed like there was no one quite as funny as Eddie Murphy thrilling us with his trademark laugh. Then he disappeared, tried to make a go at it in the music industry (big flop) and made several movies most of us didn’t see and quickly forgot if we did.

Read more‘Daddy Day Care’ ushers in family-friendly era for Eddie Murphy

‘Requiem for a Dream’ is so good, it made British girls pass out and throw up

Requiem For A Dream is the 21st Century’s answer to The Exorcist. The latter was banned in Britain from 1973 to 1998. The British Board of Film Censorship saying “the problem with The Exorcist is not that it is a bad film, it is that it is a very good film. It’s one of the most powerful films ever made.” The opposite of the popular ‘so-bad it’s good’ phenomenon, The Exorcist was so good it was bad.

Read more‘Requiem for a Dream’ is so good, it made British girls pass out and throw up

‘Aliens’ echoes the original and set the standard for movie sequels

Carrie Henn gets saved by Sigourney Weaver in 'Aliens'
Carrie Henn gets saved by Sigourney Weaver in ‘Aliens’

[rating=3]Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Carrie Henn, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Paul Reiser, Bill Paxton
Director(s): James Cameron
Writer(s): Story by David Giler & Walter Hill and James Cameron, Screenplay by James Cameron

If Alien was considered a classic of horror, James Cameron’s Aliens was pure action and adventure. Although it still held elements of horror, Aliens offered up a action heavy film which — I believe — perfectly complimented the original and successfully expanded the story.

Read more‘Aliens’ echoes the original and set the standard for movie sequels