Pirates of the Caribbean: Apparently, Dead Men Tell No (New) Tales

Javier Bardem in 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales'
Javier Bardem in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales’

Dead men tell no tales. Neither do movies on the fifth go-around, apparently. However, the latest installment in Disney’s goldmine franchise proved two things. One, that a return to the glory days of Pirates, while somewhat repetitive, was necessary and long past due. Two, Orlando Bloom, even with a barnacle-encrusted face, can never look bad.

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‘Dark Shadows’ isn’t Johnny Depp / Tim Burton’s worst… but not best either

Eva Green shows her stuff in 'Dark Shadows'
Eva Green shows her stuff in ‘Dark Shadows’

[rating=2]Starring: Johnny Depp, Eva Green, Michelle Pfieffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Jonny Lee Miller, Chloe Grace Moretz, Bella Heathcote, Jackie Earle Haley
Director(s): Tim Burton
Writer(s): Screenplay by Seth Grahame-Smith, story by John August and Seth Grahame-Smith, from the TV series created by Dan Curtis

Dark Shadows, starring Johnny Depp and a cast of several under the direction of the very capable Tim Burton is the 8th collaboration between Depp and Burton.  It is certainly not the worst, but it’s much closer to that level than it is to their best (you can choose your own best, for me, it is easily Ed Wood).

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‘Finding Neverland’ is the rare film which has pitch-perfect acting and writing

Johnny Depp and Dustin Hoffman in 'Finding Neverland'
Johnny Depp and Dustin Hoffman in ‘Finding Neverland’

[rating=4]Starring: Johnny Depp, Kate Winslet, Julie Christie, Dustin Hoffman
Director(s): Marc Forster
Writer(s): David Magee, based on the play by Allan Knee

Ahh, Los Angeles in January… It is a most glorious time of year when our attentions turn collectively to Awards Season©. It is a time when Variety and The Hollywood Reporter do their best work, serving as mere staples for a throng of “For Your Consideration” studio ads.

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‘Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl’ defied expectations by being great

Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightly in 'Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl'
Johnny Depp and Kiera Knightly in ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl’

[rating=4]Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly, Jack Davenport, Jonathan Pryce, Mackenzie Crook, Lee Arenberg, Zoe Saldana
Director(s): Gore Verbinski
Writer(s): Jay Wolpert, Stuart Beattie, Terry Rossio, Ted Elliott

It has been quite some years since a really good pirate movie was made. The last that I can remember was Cutthroat Island, the film that signaled the official end of Gena Davis’ career — and Matthew Modine, I think, although he was probably out of the picture before that.

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‘Ed Wood’ is Tim Burton best film

Never has a bad filmmaker been so celebrated than Edward D. Wood, Jr. And regardless of how fun his films may be to watch, Ed Wood was terrible at making movies. The stories are ridiculously bad, the acting is terrible, the dialogue is a joke. They’re just plain bad.

But, somehow, they are really, really fun to watch.

Ed Wood is probably as terrific a film about the man that could possibly be made. And finally, after so many false starts and promised release dates, this classic homage to the most popular bad filmmaker in history has arrived on DVD.

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