Tag: horror
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‘The First Omen’ should be the last
“If Satan wasn’t around, churches would go out of business.” – Marilyn Manson Sacrilege as it might be to say, but try as I might, I have never really liked the Omen films. Even the original, the supposed “good” one, was very badly written, failing to provide a satisfying resolution for the protagonist and audience, resulting in…
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Pick up the call for ‘Scream 6’
“Cities are distinguished by the catastrophic forms they presuppose and which are a vital part of their essential charm.” – Jean Baudrillard I did not like the last Scream movie and did not have hope that the same creative team would fare any better with a follow-up, especially one produced so soon. Not to mention that horror…
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Don’t pick up the call for ‘Scream’
“What is even more baffling than allowing a franchise to run on too long is not allowing one to reach its full potential.” – Justin Bruce Before watching this film, I made a pact with myself that if they killed off a certain character, I’d be giving the movie a thumbs down. Sure enough, that…
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‘It Chapter 2’ closes the book on Pennywise
“Wa-ha, wa-ha, wa-ha; that’s It, folks!” – Doug Walker Beyond all odds, It 2017 beat the remake curse to be well-received commercially and critically. Coming now to conclude the tale is It Chapter 2, but the air in this balloon has leaked out. Twenty-seven years have passed and Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård) is back terrorizing Derry. Mike…
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‘Scream’ Season 3 slices cleaner
“Our life is made by the death of others.” – Leonardo da Vinci A property going from movies to television can be a real crapshoot. Sometimes you might get a M*A*S*H or Buffy, but quite often it’s a real dud. Whatever middle ground there is between the two would be where the Scream show lies.…
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‘Child’s Play’ is defective
“It stinks.” – Jay Sherman Wrong. This was the first thought that occurred to me when watching Child’s Play 2019 and it stayed the whole time. Nothing about it was right. Not in regards to the 1988 film, not in regards to modern reality and sensibilities, not even in regards to its own logic. The…
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‘Pet Sematary’ should have remained dead
“Fate is not satisfied with inflicting one calamity.” – Publilius Syrus Pet Sematary 2019 is essentially the novel and/or 1989 film buried in the cursed grounds of the plot and resurrected in the same manner: starts off seeming the same but a little off, then turns bad and wants to do you harm. Rotten and…
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‘Scary Movie 5’ is about as far away from funny as a comedy can get
There’s simply nothing in it that will register as anything even remotely close to hilarious.
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Danielle Panabaker saves rape-revenge flick, ‘Girls Against Boys’
Rape-revenge films seem to receive some support from feminists, but I think even they would be hard-pressed to be in favor of this one.
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Blockbuster vs. Mockbuster: A Tale of Two Hansel & Gretels
Dueling tales of the ill-fated siblings who have an unhappy encounter with a witch. But which film does it better: The Hollywood heavyweight or the Low-Budget straight-to-DVD?